Wednesday

I dreamt of you yesterday night. In my dream, we were not in Malaysia but in European countries. Both of us wore dress and you were green with yellow dots and I was blue with yellow dots too, if i am not mistaken. We liked running around in the garden and playing with each other, this is all i can recall now, others than that i have already forgotten as the dream is too long. But i am quite happy to have this dream, because having you in my dream i can still feel that you are together with me no matter how far we are now. Maybe i am so miss you even though in my dream i still can see you there. Recently, you have become my dream mate, ha ha ha.

Ya, i hope that we can have one month holidays and we travel the whole Europe countries, just 3 of us. Possible or not? ha, miss you a lot la...Monday Ms Low asked me whether i can give her more care like that day she already asked from me, i looked at her and my mind was blank. If she were you, i could straight away said no problem, but she is not. She said she feels envy of our friendship and she hopes that i can give the care like the way i give to you. I was stunned at the moment and i looked at her silently. You and she are different because we have gone through so many things that it cant really explain. One thing very important is, she said that she is afraid that she will be dependant so much on me if i give her care.Then she asked, " can i depend on you?", i was quiet at that moment, deep in my heart indeed, i cant say "yes". I feel scared if she depends on me, i am bad is it? I cant hurt her , so i just smile and i said " i dont know what kind of care you want and i am not sure that my care is the care that you are referring to?" Suddenly she said, "i think i cant force you, if really cant then never mind, i really anxious that i will depend on you if you care for me". Hui Hui, i am very scared now because i am not willing to care her like the way i care you since you and her have different position in my heart. I will care her like i care for good friend but not best friend, otherwise good friend and best friend will be the same. Am i too cruel? But i just told her that I will help her that it.

Hui Hui, one thing to let you know, maybe i will study maths for statistics in UM. Ya, i really can't tolerate the stresses that my family give, i am more willing to tolerate silently of the stress on my maths rather than the stress they give me. You are my best friend, i need to tell you this since you are worrying for my future for quite sometimes. I know maybe "the future" will be going to happen, but now i am thinking to do "something different" at the same time to change "the future". The "something different" i will let you know once i decided.

Take care my friend, cant see you on your skype today.(disappointed)